With registration going on, my creative impulses have gone right out the window. You might think the reverse would be true: that the tedium and minutia of my job that currently preoccupies my lower-functioning mind would allow the higher-functioning part to be working overtime on things creative. But alas, that is not the case. I’ve hit the doldrums–though hopefully it won’t go past April 23rd (when registration suspends).
Part of the problem, of course, is the DYPS hasn’t met for several weeks–first it was Spring Break; and then it was the week after Spring Break, but no one but Bob could come; and then this week was AWP. So three Thursdays have passed and I haven’t been “required” to produce, which is bad–I need that discipline or I’m a slug. To be fair, I’ve been kicking around a Sibley Sister poem, but I just don’t know about the ending–and I’m not talking about “Best Served Cold,” the poem that’s been futzed with and “tweaked” to death, and still no one likes the end. (Because it’s crappy.)
Everyone knows ending poems (with, if not a transcendent “ah” experience, at least a resolute “yes”) is hard, but they seem especially hard with the Sibley poems. I’ve mentioned before how I want these poems to do alot, but it’s hard to get it on one page.
But at this point, it’s hard to get anything on a page. I’m in a rut–and it’s not just the poems (but I don’t want to go into it.) Maybe it’s just time to do some more reading–I’ve got a ton I could read, that might inspire me. Maybe I should take a break and write something else. Or maybe I just need to “put on my Big Girl panties and deal with it”–“write through the pain”– “embrace the struggle”… or whatever other hackney phrase people say when they have to deal with annoying, whiny-ass, self-pitying, self-indulgent, poor-me-I-have-writer’s-block-my-life-is-so-tragic brats like me.