So last night, my Mom tells me that she finished reading my manuscript. Here I’m thinking that she’s about to launch into a litany of Mom-like praise. No. This is how the conversation went (and apologies for any spoilers… please don’t let that stop you from buying my book when it eventually comes out):
Mom: I couldn’t believe that ending. I kept reading and saying Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
JC: What do you mean?
Mom: I had no idea! I didn’t see it coming! Oh, my God!
JC: What do you mean, you didn’t see it coming? She talks about revenge! She’s plotting!
Mom: But killing him, for breaking her sister’s heart?
JC: No, Mom, she kills him because he raped her sister! That’s why she’s getting revenge! And he killed her other sister! He ran her over in his car!
Mom: He did? He raped her sister? I didn’t see that. And he killed the other sister? I mean I knew she died…
JC: Did you read this book? The rape is not explicit–it happens “off stage,” but he admits it to his friend…
Mom: I guess I’m just too pedestrian. [Whatever the hell that means.] Guess I’ll have to read it again and look for the clues.
JC [trying to sound gentle]: I’m sorry it upset you. [Look for the clues??? How could you miss them?]
Mom: Of course I’m upset! She cut him open! She chopped him up! I had no idea! You should have given me a synopsis before I read this book. It was too graphic!
JC [a little petulantly]: But you knew she was going to get revenge…
Mom: Yes, but I thought it was going to be a spell.
JC: Well, it was a spell. She poisons him after she does a spell. And anyway, he was dead before she chopped him up.
Mom: I just don’t read things like this… I mean you know these things happen, but I don’t read about them!…Before I share it with [a mutual friend] I’m going to have to warn her. She won’t expect it–it will upset her.
JC: [Good grief.] Ok, Mom.
I am somewhat bemused by this conversation–it’s kind of funny, but it’s also a little hard to take. I mean, if you pay attention at all, there are plenty of signs that the main character is just biding her time (à la Hamlet) until she’s ready to exact revenge on the bad guy. Ok, so maybe the dismemberment was a little over the top, but at the same time, I tried to write it bloodless–that is to say, very matter-of-fact, very much like reporting what was happening (as opposed to poetic editorializing) to demonstrate how clear-headed she was in carrying out her revenge. Like I could have been gruesomely graphic, but I tried to be restrained. (As an aside, let me say, one of my writing group members thought I should rewrite this section to make it more trance-like, as if she were doing this murder in a dreamlike state. But that would never have worked, a) because I don’t write in fragments, and b) that is not how this character acts. She’s completely within her faculties–which I think makes the scene more chilling, because she’s perfectly clear-headed in the process. She’s not some kind of psycho-killer. But I digress.)
The point is, of course, that audience matters. Clearly, some Moms aren’t the audience for books that examine instances of violence. My Mom despises violence–she runs out of the room, for example, when something scary or possibly bloody is about to happen on the TV. And while I think that’s an extreme reaction, I suppose, knowing this about her, I should have expected a reaction like this one. I should have expected it, but I didn’t–so I didn’t think to “warn” her about the murder–although, I also think if she had been reading more carefully, she would have realized what was going to happen. For heaven’s sakes, that particular part is called “Blood Will Have Blood.” Like duh, what did you think was going to happen in something that quotes from Macbeth??
Mom was also upset, I think, because there are no repercussions (at least, in this book–and no, that’s an oblique comment promising a sequel, by the way) for the murder. The character does, in fact, “get away with it.” And I’m ok with that. I think my Mom’s sense of justice doesn’t like that she escapes her actions with no downfall, or at least, no real commentary about it.
But I’m not interested in the main character’s punishment–I don’t think she’s unjustified in her actions–and human “justice” is not what this book is about, anyway. It’s about supernatural justice–not divine justice, make no mistake–she does invoke the Sign of the Goat/ the Dark Mother, after all. And also, this is not a Greek tragedy. Apologies to Aristotle, but it’s not hamartia for her to kill him who needs killing. And anyway, if you kill without your soul, you can kill in “good conscience,” because in fact, no soul equals no conscience to be damaged.
Poor Mom. She said, “I never knew I’d have a daughter who could write like something like that.” Oh, if you only knew.