It’s 5 a.m. I’ve been awake since 2:30, when the seagulls decided they wanted to hold a concert right outside my window. In case you haven’t heard a seagull lately, its cry falls somewhere between a half-cranked motor and a baby being stabbed to death. Seagulls like to fly over the courtyard out back of my apartment, and I like to watch them…but not this early.
Since I’ve been in Edinburgh, my sleep patterns have been disrupted. Partly that’s due to sleeping in a strange bed, one that lacks multiple blankets and too many pillows. Partly it’s the light situation. I can tell you that around 3:30 the sky was definitely turning lighter, and I’m used to dark nights and black-out curtains back home, so that my bedroom is cave-like and no light enters in to bother me. (Yes, yes, I could wear a sleepy mask here—and I have one—but I never can keep it on my face long enough to let it work.) I also miss my cats, especially Jenny, who keeps me company at least for a little while as I sleep. All of these things combined have contrived to keep me up later and to sleep less deeply when I finally go to bed. Even my Fitbit has been giving me poor sleep marks since I’ve come to Scotland.
I’m not sure why I couldn’t just roll over at 2:30 and fall back asleep. I guess I do have some weighty thoughts on my mind. For one thing, I remembered I promised to write a blurb for a new poetry book, and I was suddenly panicked that I was late with it. (Turns out I’m not; it’s due mid-July, not mid-June). For another I guess I’m worried about my class. Discussion is going really well and what I’ve graded so far has been good, but teaching a new class is difficult and I worry my students may be disappointed with me. (I’m so used to teaching creative writing these days, that teaching literature seems just so much harder than it used to be.) And finally, as I mentioned before, I’m lonely, and also finding it hard to write. My Dad asked me if I’d written a lot of poems since I’ve been here when we talked on Father’s Day, and I bashfully admitted I have not. (On the other hand, I didn’t write about Venice when I was in Venice, but when I did finally write about it, I came up with a book. So perhaps a book of Scotland-related poems might be percolating in the back of my mind?)
I suppose I’ll wind up taking a nap at some point today—I suspect I’ll just crash. (But hopefully not while I’m teaching. 😊)
Anyway, I just wanted to jot a quick blog for my five loyal readers, and to take a picture of 5 a.m. so you know what I’m dealing with.